When Your Online Profile Isn't Attracting the Right Kind of Attention
Getting started with online dating is exciting. You sign up, answer all the personality questions, and create a personal ad that you think makes you sound very desirable. You let your personal ad loose into cyberspace, cross your fingers, and you get ready for the best dating you've ever had.
Instead of having fun, however, you find yourself waiting, and waiting. No one is biting on your bait. Or worse, you don't seem to be attracting the type of person you had hoped to meet. What should you do next, especially when you've paid in advance for several months of membership?
You can cower in the corner and convince yourself you must really be a loser if you cannot manage to generate interest virtually. Or, you can rewrite your personal ad and try again. Advertisers do this all the time when they test different versions of an advertisement in an effort to determine which one is generating the best response.
When you are creating a personal ad, it should highlight your attributes as well as your strengths. It should also be organized and free of obvious typographical and grammar mistakes. A good way to begin the process of rewriting a personal ad is to break the ad down into a couple different categories and then fill in the details. All you're really doing is creating an outline, just like you used to do back in school.
The categories to cover include a description of your physical attributes and background, a section describing your interests and hobbies, and most importantly a section devoted to describing both the type of relationship you seek and the type of partner you seek.
As you begin filling in the details, keep the following in mind. First, always be honest in your descriptions. If you expect honesty from others, you've got to be honest yourself. Always be positive as well. Just think about the daily conversations you have with those around you. Aren't you turned off by the people who dwell on all the negative things that go on in their lives? Those unfortunate victims who never get a fair chance at life? Those left bitter from past relationships with family or loved ones?
You are and that is normal. If your personal ad sounds more negative than positive, you can be certain that those reading it are going to pass on the opportunity to find out more about you. They don't want to share your misery. Even mentioning what you are not looking for from a partner is negative. If you've included this type of information in your profile, remove it. Give this section a positive spin by focusing on the qualities you seek in another, instead.
Finally remember that your profile is a marketing piece, not a laundry list. Focus on a few things in life that make you and then elaborate on those. The more interesting what you write sounds, the more interesting you sound. So get out there and try again!